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Six stories, six fates, six ways to show us… Fallen idols. The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber by Hemingway is pretty ironical. The main character rich Mr. Macomber has everything he needs to have – money, handsomeness, beautiful wife, the status in the society. But he’s not happy. Is it true that due to the high status in the society he tends to gain all of the things he does not need in general. If he’s just a normal person, having wealth would make him confident and calm. What’s that Francis lack that makes his life just a spectacle? Being in state of fear of loosing all of his wealth forms his not self-confident. Francis does not believe in himself and vain killing of a lion becomes a push for the further actions – wife’s reproaches and as a result – overestimating of the values. And finding the way out of fear, Mr. Macomber stops to be afraid – afraid of his wife, wild animals. He finds that power of universe is inside of him, he trusts himself, listening to inner voice. And exactly at the moment when his life changed, he’s killed. Is it always in this way so when a person finally finds the way of being happy, he dies. Let’s look at Miss Lonelyhearts by Nathaniel West. The author purposely does not make us aware of the main character’s name. Miss Lonelyhearts – it’s not just the nickname of the man, it becomes his name as a preist, as St. Paul for example. So, a young man writes the advice column in a newspaper. In the beginning of his work, he does not really take it seriously but like a job-joke. Later he realizes that his correspondents take him seriously. And becoming a speaker of the moral values just like Christ at his time, he stops seeing his job as a joke but himself as a victim of someone’s joke. He’s forced to examine the values by which he lives (as he himself told). He’s not gay anymore, he becomes sick. Miss Lonelyhearts tries to find the root of happiness being a perfectionist. But is he on the right way? He’s violent (remember the first dialogue with a woman loved him), he’s indifferent to other’s feelings (comes to Shrike’s wife when hiss boss at home). Gaining the Chirst complex he knows that standard answers don’t work. But what’s then? If he’d believed in Christ it would be clear what’s wrong and what’s right however he complicates himself. And finally finding the unity with the source of joy, God; finding the way out, Miss Lonelyhearts is killed. And all of this happens while people stop going to church looking for an advice. People go to the psychologists, watch the TV shows or right to Miss Lonelyhearts. And church becomes a place where money is made. Art replaces religion as the way to find, to experience the sublime. That’s what Miss Lonelyhearts’ boss Mr. Shrike preach to the author. Oh, humanity… Soldier’s Home by Hemingway tells us about a soldier returned home from the war. Isn’t the home a place where a person feels not lonely? Just in the word “home” we see the comfort, care and love. People believe in home like in a place where you’re you. But look at Kerbs ( a man without name). Look at him! He returned from the place where not everyone returns – from the war… and the highest appreciation from parents’ side is allowing riding a car. Just imagine – a boy carried in his own hands weapons, seen death is now allowed to take dad’s car. The belief in waiting-all-the-time mother stays but what stands for that carrying and waiting? Was it the care about the life of own son? No-o-o. Religious mother thinks whether her son has sexual relationships with free European girls. She’s calm while she knows that her boy fits the role she wrote for him all of his life. And Kerbs is alien. His belief was twisted by the strong stress – going for war. But still being a boy, he’s looking not for an advice, further direction for living – he wants peace and comfort in his life. In God Rest You Merry Gentlemen written by Hemingway we meet literal treating of Bible by a young man come to the clinics. There’s be a boy asking for the amputation of his penis just because being a young he could not stay impassionate for women’ bodies. Taking the rule of Christ about cutting a hand if it sins he does not understand that it is not the hand (or whatever it may be) that sins. The mind is so powerful that the thoughts take the physical form. And if a person does not like it, he should change his thoughts, as only they affect the matter. Story The Gambler, The Nun, and the Radio by Hemingway is about the artist who observes of the society, not being agree with it norms, points out the problems through his works of art. The main character is in clinics and he’s thinks about “opium of people”. Of course, thinking in his way, everything can be counted as opium. Why are his thoughts full of depressive notes? Because his physical sickness comes to the mental one, and being separate from the source of being, from the harmonious state of joy, he’s in pain. Great Gatsby is beautiful, rich a sad story. Mr. Gatsby is a young successful handsome wealthy man lived in New York. He’s so wealthy that it allows him to make parties with high-society people. Being everything, he’s nothing – he’s Mr. Nobody from Nowhere. In past poor boy goes to the war and later comes back becoming bootlegger. Reading further we understand that his status is false – he’s even living in West Egg – a place of “easy money”. Being a watcher not an observer, Gatsby draws the picture taken from the past. Like a great successful producer he makes up amazing stage (his rich house next to Nick’s one), decorations (interior with its library and real uncut books), actors (the not-known guests during the splendid parties). Even script is written – a story taken from the past. The script is perfectly corrected – absence of Gatsby’s poor youth results in avoiding parents not fitting in the story (we meet the father only in the end), false Oxford education, cutting own past five years, aiming for the happiness in the future. And the audience, which as Gatsby thinks ought to complete the harmony, in the face of Daisy ruins the perfect façade. Or does he think he can stop time and turn the clock back? Anyway the play fails, the world created from the past forms pain. Gatsby is killed, Daisy left. Empty stage. I enjoyed reading the stories analyzed above. I read six stories and lived those six lives. Honestly, did not really understand The Gambler…Anyway The self-Reliance by Emerson is seen as a good example of finding the way out and staying alive meanwhile. Emerson proves that living in truth with yourself brings happiness. And it’s indeed so. At the time when Emerson strictly points at that, Hemingway, West, Fitzgerald give birth to the characters who are like us, live and want to live happily. All of them failed just because they believed in the outer criteria of joy, they did not realize (not all of them) that the only source of hope and belief is they are themselves. plastic surgery penis enlarement vigrx penis pill top rated penile enlargement pills penile enlargment traction device pnis enlargement surgeon pennis enlargement top rated penis elargement pills enlargment manhattan penile
Male factors are projected to produce about thirty percent of all infertility troubles and to contribute to them in another twenty percent. Whatever conventional wisdom may have to say about whose "fault" the problem is that figures indicate that the responsibility is split about equally between the sexes. Studies initiated by the National Institutes of Health at six universities are exploring the infertility consequences of the increase of sexually transmitted diseases among the young. At greatest risk are those between the ages of fifteen and nineteen regardless of socioeconomic differences. The production or quality of sperm may be affected by congenital and genetic abnormalities, injuries to the genital tract, heat, age, sperm agglutination, acute and chronic infection (often sexually transmissible infections), malnutrition, previous surgery, allergies, chronic illness, environmental or occupational factors (such as radiation), varicocele, or certain medications. Among these medications are Tagamet, used in ulcer treatment; drugs used for treating cancer; and some antibiotics (especially those used to treat tuberculosis). Also heavy smoking of marijuana and smoking generally, alcoholism and stress may result in impotence or inability to ejaculate. Varicocele, a varicose enlargement of the veins of the spermatic cord, is a potentially curable cause of male infertility. While this condition occurs in many men with normal fertility, it has been found to be present in as many as forty percent of infertile men. Half of all men with varicoceles have decreased sperm count or sperm motility or other changes in the semen analysis. Theories of the cause of these changes include heat, pressure and toxic substances from the dilated vessels. Permanent or temporary damage to the male testis can occur as a result of a genital infection or a systemic infection. Gonorrhea may do enough damage to the male genital tract to result temporarily in a marked decrease in the sperm count. Mumps in an adult male may involve one or both testicles and may cause severe testicular damage. Fortunately, usually only one testicle suffers severe impairment and the sperm count, though possibly reduced, is usually compatible with fertility. Any systemic viral or bacterial infection may cause a temporary depression in the sperm count. Because many of the infertility tests for women are more complicated and involve more risk than those for men, infertility testing often begins with the male. A semen analysis is a simple test that can provide a great deal of information. The male is asked to submit a recently ejaculated semen specimen to the physician or laboratory. This specimen is then examined microscopically to determine sperm count, their size and shape and if they are able to move normally. There is no sharp line of demarcation between fertility and sterility in the sperm count. Counts of less than twenty to forty million per cubic centimeter are often correlated with decreased fertility, although men with counts of five to ten million have fathered children. A high percentage of sperm with abnormal shape, size, or decreased motility is also correlated with decreased fertility. The semen can be analyzed also for antibodies and cultured for various infections. The hormone levels in the man's blood are also measured to make sure his hypothalamus and pituitary glands are functioning normally. penis enhancement tip pennis enlargement surgeries home penis enlargement vimax male virility sexual enhancement enlargement forum free matter penile size penis enlarement pills review best penis elargement pills manual penis elargement penis enlarement exercise
Covert sexual abuse is more insidious than blatant sexual abuse. Thus, identifying it is more difficult because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The sex offender acts as if she/he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact she/he is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his/her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his/her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with him/herself because he/she feels terrible. To make matters worse, those around the child act as if nothing is wrong or there is collusion. For example: Uncle Lewie pulls his 3-year-old niece’s bathing suit bottom down and everyone laughs. Or a game of tag is played and the person who gets ‘tagged’ gets his/her bathing suit pulled down, invariably the child is the only one who gets tagged and laughed at. The child feels humiliated or shamed as everyone laughs at his/her expense. Thus, the child feels inadequate or crazy that he/she feels bad, as if she/he is the one with the problem. Adhering to the definition of Sexual Child Abuse (see definition below), sexual abuse can be as subtle and insidious as: • a person allowing the child to see pornographic pictures or movies • a man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her • a man giving a child a ‘wet’ kiss on the lips • a man putting his tongue on a child’s lips or into the mouth • anyone, who has sexual intent invading a child’s privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed • anyone ‘playfully’ pulling his/her swimsuit bottom down or pulling her panties down without implied permission or permission • bathing a child when the child is old enough to bathe him/herself • any person touching or caressing the child in ways that are sexual • a man holding a child on his lap while he has an erection • a person who stares (ogles) at or makes provocative sexual comments about the child’s body. • anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver • seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person • touching a boy’s penis with sexual overtone or meaning, while changing his diaper or bathing/drying him • playing ‘red light/green light’ – If I touched you here (the person touches an erogenous area) would you say “Red light or Green Light? No matter the answer the person has transgressed a boundary and the child has experienced in-appropriate touch and therefore has been abused. • any adult asking/instructing a child to touch him/her in his/her erogenous areas • copping a feel in the child’s erogenous areas • a man touching/patting a child’s leg with sexual intent or meaning while driving • a man with sexual intent or meaning while seemingly unintentionally touching a child’s chest/or breast Women know how unnerving and icky it feels when a person ogles, touches, cops a feel or makes in-appropriate or unwanted sexual comments. Can you imagine how a child feels? While the child doesn’t know the intent or ramifications, the child feels the person’s sexual energy and doesn’t know what is transpiring, therefore a copped feel, ogling or sexual comments are more profound for a child than an adult. This list of subtle (covert) is not intended to be all inclusive—indeed, it can not be. In the 25 years I have worked with sexual child abuse survivors, I am not surprised to hear yet another insidious way a sex offender abuses a child. These covert sexual child abuse behaviors have been reported numerous times by my clients, who have all the classic aftereffects of sexual child abuse. Therefore, I am certain of the authenticity and validity of their report. I have no reason to believe an adult person would lie about such a childhood experience when there is nothing for them to gain by lying. Sexual Child Abuse Definition: “Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated." (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors). If one fully understands, accepts and uses this detailed description of sexual child abuse and incest, one is armed with information to protect children from this insidious crime that impacts 62% of girls and 31% of boys by age 18. Another little known statistic is the most frequent sex offender. Research by David Finkelhor and Diana Russell reveals 80% of children are abused by family members. 19% are abused by someone the child knows—teacher, neighbor, family friend, playmate or playmate’s sibling, playmate’s parent/ grandparent, coach, school janitor, bus driver to name the most frequent known and trusted sex offenders. Government statistics report 1% of all children, who are sexually abused are abused by strangers. penis enlargment before and after photo free penis enlarement technique free exercise tip for penile enlargment penis enlarement cream penis enlargement cream permanent penis enlagement free penis enlagement exercise vimax penis enlargement secret penis enlarement exercise
Any method used to prevent pregnancy is known as birth control. Barrier and non-barrier methods are the two types of birth control used. How do I know what method is right for me? The birth control method you choose should take into account your overall health, the number of sexual partners, whether you want to have children, how effective each method is in preventing pregnancy, potential side effects, and your comfort level with using the method. It is recommended that you use a condom or some other form of birth control to get added protection against unplanned pregnancies and unwanted sexually transmitted diseases. How effective are birth control methods? Sterilization is the most effective method. Abstinence is the only 100% method of effective birth control. Birth control pills are more than 99% effective. Male condoms are 98% effective, while female condoms are 95% successful. These effective rates are applicable only when each method is used properly. How can I get birth control? You can normally get birth control devices from family planning clinics, health centers, and hospitals. Birth control pills cost $10to $20 per cycle. Condoms cost $0.50 to $2.00 per condom and are available in pharmacy stores. Sterilization occurs only with the help of surgery. It is the permanent protection against pregnancy, and it costs between $350 and $2,500. Do I need a prescription to get birth control? How can I get a prescription? To get some form of birth control, a prescription is needed. The pill, the shot, and the patch need a prescription from a medical practitioner. To get a prescription, a woman must have a pelvic exam. The pelvic exam ensures that her body is healthy and can accept the birth control method. Other birth control methods such as male and female condoms, sponges, and spermicides need no prescription and are available at drugstores. Do I need to use protection during oral sex? Yes, sexually transmitted diseases may be transmitted though oral sex. This does not mean that you cannot enjoy oral sex. You can use a latex barrier for avoiding most sexually transmitted diseases. What is a male condom and how effective is it? The male condom is a thin piece of material that a man wears over his penis during any type of sexual relations in order to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms are made of latex, polyurethane, or natural skin. If used correctly, condoms are 98% effective. What is a birth control pill and how does it work? Birth control pills contain hormones that stop releasing the egg. They also thicken the mucus on the cervix and make it difficult for the sperm to enter the egg. What is withdrawal? Withdrawal occurs when a man pulls his penis out of his partner's vagina before he ejaculates. Thus, no semen enters her body. vimax surgical penis enlargement pennis enlargement cream do penis enlargement pill really work penis elargement surgeries penis enhancement before and after picture penis enlagement traction device free penile enlargment tip penis enlargment review penis enlarement exercise
The holidays are touted to be the time of year to be joyful and most of all have fun and spend time with family and/or friends. For some, however, the holidays when families and/or friends gather to celebrate and share the joy of the season are not joyful. Because family matters are conducted behind closed doors this 'unhappy event' goes unnoticed and the victim of this cruel experience takes its toll. I speak of the unspeakable—sexual child abuse. Countless children are abused at family gatherings. While everyone is talking, laughing and having a good time, beloved Uncle Lewey, Grandpa or family friend, walks out of the living room (ostensibly to go to the bathroom) but instead goes into his niece's/granddaughter's or family friend’s room, where she is 'hanging out.' He nonchalantly chats with her and before she realizes what he is about to do, he has planted a kiss on her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth and/or fondles her breast. He then tells her she is so sexy he couldn’t stop himself, she is very special and it is their secret or he threatens her that if she tells he will say she is a 'liar' or worse yet, she 'came onto' him. Thus, she is forced into silence and shame. While I realize this scenario is difficult to fathom, it is all too real and all too frequent. However, this scenario doesn't need to end tragically, something can be done to prevent or mitigate it. No one is born a molester, yet all too often victims become perpetrators. Sexual child abuse has become a family tradition-Uncle Lewey was abused by his father, mother, uncle, cousin or aunt and now he has abused his niece. Or grandpa was abused by someone and he now has abused his granddaughter. How, you may ask, can this be possible when so many people are around-no one would risk being seen sexually abusing a child? Unfortunately, this rationalization merely avoids accepting the truth about sexual abuse perpetrators. It only takes a second to abuse a child. Furthermore, few people recognize what constitutes sexual child abuse. Sexual touch—a sensuous or ‘wet’ kiss on the lips, touching or fondling erogenous areas cause as much trauma as genital contact. All sexual abuse and/or sexual touch is damaging because it is first and foremost a betrayal of trust. PREVENTION is possible. However, for a child to be able to prevent this experience, she or he needs to have knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection. Without knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection, the only defense a child has against any kind of abuse is to accept the blame. A child cannot conceive the idea, "My father, uncle, mother, grandpa, grandma, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, or baby-sitter is sick and is harming me." Therefore, the only way to survive sexual abuse or incest is to assume that it is his or her fault. A child has unquestioning trust for everyone in the family or persons of acquaintance or authority. Parents generally teach girls to be passive, compliant, non-assertive, co-operative and reward them for doing so. Girls are raised to be 'quiet, sweet and pretty' they are never to make a 'scene.' It is not surprising then, that girls are (according to statistics) twice as likely to be sexually abused. Perpetrators know who and how to target their victims. Boys are taught, expected and praised to be tough and self-assured, even at times when something troubles them. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior usually means passivity while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Self-protection offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since perpetrators cunningly and with forethought sets the stage to perpetrate this crime in secrecy, who is better able than the child to protect him or herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize; they sense this by the child's demeanor, body language and facial expressions. They sense the fear, the helplessness, their compliant attitude and their passivity. Perpetrators choose victims who they assume will keep their secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. 'I do not have to be concerned about that in my community. This would never happen in my family.' The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business. He or she does not fit a classic stereotype and is not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. 'Traditionally, incest was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors)." Sexual abuse can be as subtle (covert) as any person showing pornographic pictures or movies to a child. It is any man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her. It is anyone consistently invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed. It is playfully pulling her swimsuit bottom down in the pool or pulling her panties down without her permission. Sexual abuse is anyone bathing the child when the child is old enough to bathe herself. It is any person who touches or caresses the child in ways she does not like or in ways that are sexual. It is any man holding a child on his lap when he has an erection. It is any trusted adult who stares at or makes comments about the child's body. It is anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver. It is seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling, or playing which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. Sexual abuse is as blatant (overt) as instructing or asking the child to lie in bed in an intimate position, fondling, digital, penis or object penetration of the rectum or vagina, or instructing a child to perform oral sex or performing oral sex on the child. It is forcing the child to touch others or be touched by others, including other children. A classic example of covert sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to what was the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been sexually abused when she was nine by a 'nice man,' who was a family friend. "He helped me on with my coat while attending a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast." This type fondling is often times referred to as 'coping a feel.' No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. As an adult woman you know how icky it feels when a man 'cops a feel.' Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced? Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she or he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his or her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his or her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with himself or herself because he or she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her or him acts as if nothing is wrong. Thus, she or he feels crazy, as if she or he is the one with the problem. A classic example of overt sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported about seeing her father (her perpetrator) kiss her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece had taken a bath. Her sister, the child's mother, the child's grandmother, (wife of the perpetrator) were present. "My sister and mother (the child's grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting," she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in recovery and could clarify the experience she would not have considered it sexual abuse either. The frightening truth about sexual abuse and incest perpetrators is that within their mindset, they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Because of a child's innocence and trust of the abuser, usually pressure or violence is not required. Thus, the sexual abuse or incest perpetrator can unequivocally state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am." Michael Jackson, 1993. Sexual abuse and incest perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done. Their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. If you have the slightest cause for concern, trust your intuition and seek professional intervention. Trusting and acting on our intuition or sixth sense is paramount to protecting children from perpetrators, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. When intuitiveness or a sixth sense has been activated in detecting danger, it can be identified by a change in one's physiology. First: Accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard, wearing a dirty trench coat. It is difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and love would do such a heinous thing. Second: Accept the definition of sexual abuse. (See definition above) Third: Know the signs your child is being targeted: Self-protection offers a direct and effective method for children to protect themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy is paramount for the perpetrator. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. There are seven child tested, parent approved sexual child abuse prevention techniques, which will protect your child from the most cunning predators. If you heed and investigate these warning signals you can prevent continued abuse. Warning signals include: • * an aversion to a person, place or event. • * outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger. • * any unusual or unexplained behavior change. Ceasing an activity that was once done without hesitation. • * not wanting to be around a particular person. • * family member/friend seems to foster a relationship with your child more for him/herself than for your child. • * secretiveness between the child and adult Fourth: What to do: • * Teach Good/Appropriate Touch with regard to anyone. • * Teach Appropriate Body Boundaries with regard to anyone. • * Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image • * Teach the "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets rule. • * Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures. • * Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by anyone. • * Check on your child occasionally whenever they are with another adult or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent. • * Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense—honor their intuitive sense. • * Appropriate Suspicion—trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense is paramount. If you have confusion regarding a person's actions, nagging/persistent thoughts or feelings, hesitation, general suspicion, apprehension, fear, doubt, a hunch, curiosity regarding a person's actions or statements, or questions regarding a person's proclamation that is not substantiated by their actions—trust your intuition or sixth sense. • * If you err in evaluating the situation, make the error on the side of caution. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child's interest. • * Remember it only takes a second to sexually abuse anyone—child or adult